A real picture of post-pregnancy: 3 months

This post is part of my series, A Real Picture of Post-Pregnancy, where I document my journey of postpartum weight loss after giving birth to my third baby in 4 years, including losing 52 pounds of baby weight. (For my raw, unedited look at my 10 months of pregnancy, check out my series, A Real Picture of Pregnancy.)

Some big wins to share this month!

First, I’ve lost 7 pounds in the last 4 weeks. I’m feeling great. (My husband took this picture of me last weekend, after I waterskiied for the first time in almost a year. I felt like a hero. And my kids pretty much thought I was. #mamasstillgotit)

This month, I’ve also started getting reaaaaaaaally disciplined. Simply put, there are no more excuses.

I returned to boot camp. Four days a week, I get up at 5am to nurse, and leave my house at 5:30am to be at boot camp from 6 to 7am. On the fifth day of the week, I run with a friend from 6 to 7am. We don’t focus on how much distance we go. We just concentrate on moving our bodies, feeling good and getting our sweat on. Physically, my body feels sore and awesome. And mentally, I’m gonna be honest… I’m really freakin’ proud of myself.

For these last 4 weeks of boot camp, I’ve had perfect attendance at the 6am class. Anyone who has ever had a newborn knows how hard this is. But I’ve done it. It’s not because I love getting up early or thrive on zero sleep. It’s because I started telling myself, You’re going. There is no excuse good enough. Get up and go.

And I have.

I’ve never been a morning worker-outer, but since having kids, I’ve had to change it up. The fact is, if I want to work out, I have to do it before my husband leaves for work. So, before sunrise is my only option. And that is the end of the story. (Plus, if I don’t go, it’s not like I get to sleep in anyway, right? *moms nod*)

Rather than dreading my early morning workouts, I’ve started thinking of them as a luxury, my “me” time, my sanctuary. I know it’s how I lost the baby weight after my second son, and that motivates me to keep at it. Keep on truckin’. Keep going. Don’t stop.

Simply put, that is all I’m doin’.

I just keep going.

This month, I’ve also gotten back to clean eating: no grains, minimal dairy, minimal sugar and no processed foods. (In fact, I shared my meal plan in this whole other post!) Oddly enough, you’d think that after my oink-oink free-for-all maternity eating days that eating well again would be super hard, but I’ve actually enjoyed it. I think I was so sick of eating crap, and feeling like crap, that my body was starting to crave healthy foods again. For me, it also helps that I work out in the mornings. On my workout days, after sweating all morning, I tend to want to eat well all day. (Anyone else the same way?) And, on the weekend mornings, when I don’t work out, eating well is so much tougher. (And I miiiiight have hit up the raw cookie dough in our fridge last Sunday morning. Hey, it goes sooooo well with hot coffee.)

But, don’t get me wrong. There are still the days that I just want to eat ice cream and pizza. And I do.

Especially when I get down on myself.

It was a couple Saturdays ago.

I was feeling so great about my progress. I was eating well. I was working out, getting stronger and feeling leaner. I was finding time to write more, and even got asked to do a local TV appearance.

The morning of the TV appearance, I yanked on a non-maternity dress.

And it zipped.

Let me repeat: I was able to zip a non-maternity dress.

Naturally, I was on cloud 9 as I did my hair, put on my false eyelashes, and drove myself (kid-free) to the TV station. I was feelin’ good. The segment went well, and then a few hours later, I watched it on the DVR.

It was like someone punched me in the gut.

Is that really what I look like?

I felt lean and strong and beautiful.

But when I saw the TV playback, all I could think was, That’s not me. I look so big. My cheeks are so fat they look like they’re going to explode when I smile. My boobs are so huge that my whole body looks 10 sizes larger. Is that really me?

Whether or not you agree with my self-analysis, in that moment, it was my truth.

Don’t we all do that sometimes?

Others may say we look great, or we performed well, but all we can focus on is what didn’t look great, or what went wrong?

Uggg, I felt sick.

All my work, all my progress, all my sacrifice, all my getting up early… and I still look like THAT?

That night, I did some emotional eating.

Okay, I pounded 3 freezer burritos like it was nobody’s business.

I got sad.

I texted my sister and a close friend with my insecurity report. I’ve done so much work! Why do I look so out-of-shape? This isn’t fair!

They listened and encouraged and texted back their best motivations.

But the truth was, until I believed that I was more than this image on a screen, I’d never move forward.

I am so much more.

The next morning, I felt hungover. But it wasn’t just the salty freezer burritos. Mentally, I was drained.

So I made a decision.

I decided that I would just keep going.

Did you hear that?

I would just keep going.

Sometimes, when there’s nothing we can do…

About bad camera angles.

Misbehaving kids.

A messy house.

All we can do is just keep going.

So that’s what I’m doing.

For me, getting fit again is simple science. It’s a math equation. Input and output.

I can do this.

And whether it’s working out, cleaning your kitchen or potty-training your toddler, you can too.

You glow, girl.

This month’s stats

Pre-pregnancy weight: 148
Birth day weight: 200
Start of plan (1 month postpartum): 186
3 month update: 174
Pounds lost: 26
Pounds to go: 26

Wooooot! I’m officially at the halfway point! Let’s do this.

#justkeepgoing

Are you with me on the baby-weight-loss-and-loving-yourself journey? Leave a comment below, and don’t forget to subscribe to the blog so we can keep in touch!