Being a stay-at-home mom is the loneliest job on the planet

You are never alone, and yet you may feel lonelier than ever. I see you.

Watch the Facebook Live video at the bottom of this post for more of the color behind this title, and learn the small tweak you can live out to thrive everyday.

When you stay home with your kids, there’s this unwritten law that you can never complain. You didn’t know? Well there is.

I’m kidding, of course.

Seriously, though.

You want to know the most challenging thing about having a job that you are grateful for, and that others might see as a luxury, but that is also simultaneously really depleting and draining?

That has heart-paralyzing pressures that no one knows until they actually do it?

That feels invisible, all-consuming and wonderful all at the same time?

There’s pressure to perform while also never finding fault with this job we are so blessed with and these children we love so much.

It’s time to talk about something that’s happening behind-the-scenes but we aren’t talking about it.

We’re staying home more. And it’s freaking hard.

We pee with an audience. We can’t complete a 30-second phone call without interruptions. We are needed all day long, and often, all night long. When we get dressed (if we get dressed?), it is usually with little people underfoot.

We are serving them so hard we’ve forgotten the sound of our own thoughts.

We are out of touch with our soul.

And we are so lonely we can taste it.

You might be so so isolated it feels like the island of your mind is floating at sea and will never bump into another. No one has walked on that beach for at least a few weeks. It’s just been you, alone, floating through the ocean with your thoughts… and a thousand kid interruptions. Your only link to the outside world is your phone.

You might be bearing a burden that’s hidden behind a plastered smile and shiny social media posts.

No one can see how you’re really doing.

But beneath the surface, you are hurting.

You don’t have time to think or feel, and so you just keep plugging along, every single day.

You may be staying home more, which only compounds this feeling.

Because no one can know how hard this really is.

How we feel like there’s an invisible boulder on our chest every morning when we wake up.

How we’re drowning by lunch time in Zoom calls and homeschool.

How there are at least three times everyday before dinner when we wonder how we will make it to bedtime.

Can I offer some advice right now?

Reach out.

Text a friend. Marco Polo your sister. Call your mom. Talk through the fence with your neighbor.

Find a small, trusted group and let them know your struggle.

This isn’t about complaining. It’s about reaching into ourselves and exposing something authentic and slathering grace on our hearts when things aren’t easy.

Find someone who will understand where you’re at.

Entrust her with your pain.

I guarantee you’ll feel better. You might even be ready to go back inside and make dinner.

And you may even remind her that she’s not alone too.

It’s okay to not be doing this perfectly. Is there a friend you can reach out to today? If not, please join the conversation on Facebook and Instagram. I guarantee we will all be there to cheer you on.

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