4 Things only people with 4 kids would understand

Life with 4 kids is crazy, wonderful and expensive. Here are 4 things only people with 4 kids would understand.

Everything is more expensive.

There’s nothing surprising about this. With each kid, life gets more expensive, but somehow with 4, the you-know-what really hits the fan. Every single time we go to a sit-down restaurant, our bill is always over $100. This is because we have 3 sons and they never stop eating. And, also because the parents frequently order more than 1 alcoholic beverage at these types of establishments. The other day, our toddler dropped his full drink cup on the ground (no big deal) and then proceeded to tip a glass plate over the edge of the table, which promptly shattered at our feet. “Can I get another beer?” I asked the waitress when she came back. “Sure! Would you like me to clean up under the table first?” Me: “No thanks.” In related news, the more kids you have, the more drinks are socially acceptable in public.

Speaking of expensive, even fun kid activities that I would never think twice about paying for with 2 kids, are now just out-of-range. For example, there’s a local gymnastics place that’s $12 a kid. With 1 kid, I’d totally drop that kind of coin. But with 4, heck to the no. We all know I could save that for the beers I will need later.

No one extra can fit in your car.

We have a Suburban, and I used to drive other kids around all the time. Pick them up, have playdates, you name it. Now, I can barely fit my own kids in my car, much less yours. Sorry.

By the same token, no one can carpool with me unless they drive a bus.

No one can babysit.

Raise your hand if you know anyone who wants 4 kids under 7 years old dumped into their house? Most of my friends are also parents, so adding 4 kids to their mix would be a pure friendship-ender. Honestly though, my 4 kids are a lot of work for me, and I’m their mother. I also have full-time help, and do not even claim to handle them all, myself, on a daily basis. Much less expect my friends to, in addition to juggling their own offspring. When it comes down to it, we have to split up kids to send them to friends. And most babysitters won’t watch 4 kids alone, or will charge you a ridiculous amount of money to do so.

Going grocery shopping is impossible.

I was in an optimistic mood and stupidly tried to bring all 4 to Target the other day. Here’s how that worked out.

Honestly though, even when they are behaving, I cannot bring kids grocery shopping because there’s physically nowhere to put the groceries. The whole cart is taken up by baby seats and kids hanging on the sides (or “floor surfing,” as seen above), not to mention grabbing everything in sight and trying to stuff it in the cart. To that end, I somehow ended up buying some errant marshmellows and a Sponge Bob toothbrush during this trip.

Any others to add? Head to the Facebook page and make me laugh!

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