This post is part of my series, A Real Picture of Post-Pregnancy, where I document my journey of losing 52 pounds of baby weight, after giving birth to my third baby in 4 years. (For my raw, unedited look at my 10 months of pregnancy, check out my series, A Real Picture of Pregnancy.) All of my photos are unedited and follow the one-take rule.
Have you noticed?
It’s been a few months since my last post-pregnancy update.
(Okay, it’s been 4 months.)
I took progress pictures every month, but never shared them.
The main reason I didn’t want to share is I went through a funk (which I shared about in Dear Depressed Moms, You’re Not Alone).
The other reason is, I really haven’t lost any weight. And to be perfectly honest, I didn’t want to tell you.
7 Months 8 Months 9 Months
Up until a week ago, I’d been yo-yoing at the same weight since October. It was so frustrating. I’d lose 7 pounds, then gain it back. Then, I’d get mad. So (naturally), I’d eat tortilla chips and drink a few cocktails. Then, the cycle would continue. The scale would go up. And on Monday, I’d start eating perfect again.
A few weeks ago, after hitting rock-bottom with my mompression, I decided to stop.
Stop the negativity.
Stop the yo-yoing.
And start believing in myself again.
So, I am. I’m standing in the truth and remembering that I’m awesome and capable, and able to do anything I decide I will do. (So are you.)
And that’s really freaking powerful.
And so, I’m getting back to it.
Four days a week, I am waking up at 5:15am to get to boot camp at 6am. On the fifth day, I run 3 to 4 miles with a friend at 6am. (I used to run 1 to 2 days a week before boot camp, at 5am, but I stopped, because I realized I was just feeling tired and exhausted and defeated. I wasn’t getting enough sleep or eating enough to burn 1,000 calories before 7am. I was depleted.)
On Sundays and Wednesdays, I’m back to prepping 6 salads for the next 3 days, which are lunches for the hubby and I. I also prep clean-eating dinners and put them in large resealable plastic bags, so that I can throw chicken and salsa in a Crockpot, or broccoli and onions on a roasting sheet, on the days that the baby is teething and I only have one hand. (Which is every night. Let’s be honest.)
I’m still going.
I’m doing the best I can.
But I’m human. And sometimes, I cry on weigh-in day because I’m so frustrated that I’m not seeing the progress I feel I should be. I hate to admit that because it makes it seem like I’m body-obsessed, and I really don’t think I am. But, the fact is, this is a goal I’ve set for myself. And it’s so frustrating for me that it’s taking this long to reach it.
To be really frank, with baby 1 and 2, I’d lost all the baby weight by the time they were 10 months old.
Our third baby turned 10 months 2 weeks ago, and I still have 11 pounds to lose.
The only reason I’m sharing that is because this is the crazy thing: I’m following the exact same steps I did to lose the baby weight the last 2 times. But, for some reason, it’s just taking a LOT longer this time.
Maybe it’s because, when I had our first baby, I was 30. I’m now 34.
Or because, when I had our first baby, I gave birth at 37 weeks. With this baby, I was pregnant a full month longer (and that’s a lot of time to eat cookie butter).
Or maybe it’s because, with my first baby, I only gained 35 pounds. This time, I gained 52 pounds.
Why can’t I give myself grace? I wrote a whole series about it for you. I give talks at MOPS groups about it. But why can’t I do it in my own life?
Well, I’m gonna be real (because that’s how I’ve always been).
It’s a daily struggle for me, just like it is for anyone else.
And everyday, I have to fight past a self-critical mind to remember that I’ve got it and I can do this, and for heaven’s sake, my body has been through a heck of a lot.
So, that’s my update.
I’m still chuggin’ along.
And in between the snot and the spit-up and the 3am wakeups and the not-showering, I’m trying my best to keep perspective on this awesome thing that is trying to be good to yourself when you’re raising little kids.
Because, whether it’s with weight loss, or even with mothering, it’s not the pace that matters.
It’s the ground you cover.
This month’s stats
Pre-pregnancy weight: 148
Birth day weight: 200
Start of plan (1 month postpartum): 186
10 month update: 159 (-3 from 4 months ago)
Pounds lost: 41
Pounds to go: 11
I’ve been sharing my baby weight loss journey since my baby was 4 weeks old, and I know a lot of you are preggo or have babies like me. How’s it going? Is it as freaking hard for you as it is for me? Share in the comments section below.
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