If this is a familiar cycle in your home, you’re not alone.
Scroll to the bottom of this post to watch a Facebook Live about the other lessons we can learn from rough parenting days, including that we’re not perfect and the power of a simple ‘I’m sorry.’
Yep, I know it. I know why you’re here.
Trust me, I get it. I have been there. I am there.
Husband is gone. Kids are being bad. You are frustrated. And before you know it, you’re pissed at him and he wasn’t even there.
I didn’t realize this was a thing until my daily conversations with my sisters dropped into this most familiar territory.
The kids are being moody. The dishwasher won’t start. You need to take a shower but someone just got hurt.
All of the things.
Every single day.
Then he walks in the door and you snap at him for not getting the dishwasher fixed when you first asked him 2 weeks ago.
Suddenly, our frustrating mothering day becomes an argument with our husband.
We want to pin this bad day on someone.
And he is the most convenient target.
Do you feel better after snapping at him?
Sure, for like 30 seconds. But it’s not okay.
Look, we’re human. It’s natural to have a bad day and want someone or something to blame. But next time you’re about to fall into that, remember this:
It’s okay to just have a bad day. It’s no one’s fault.
Could he have gotten the dishwasher fixed and it would’ve made that small part of your day easier? Sure. But you have let down your end of the bargain many days too. We’re all human.
Something I’ve noticed is when we stay home with the kids, all the little things are so big. The smallest things can make a huge impact on our day. A broken dishwasher, the sippy cups, whether the diaper leaks during nap time and if someone remembered to turn their socks right side out before tossing them
into the hamper onto the floor.
Mothering little kids comes with thousands of minuscule details, that sometimes, we feel like we’re drowning in. And other people don’t always see the little details we’re up against.
The orchestra of tiny details that we have to direct and make into a beautiful symphony everyday. But sometimes everyone is way off-tune.
And we’re angry.
Here’s the deal.
He didn’t mean to make that tiny part of your day go bad.
And your bad day is not his fault.
Next time, try this.
When he gets home, look him in the eye or maybe even reach for his hand and say, “This was a really hard day.”
I’ll bet he’ll give you a big hug, or at least an understanding look.
He’ll probably try to solve it for you. (But don’t get mad at him for that either. *wink*)
The bottom line is, you’ll know you’re not in this alone.
Hold back on the blame and lean into the grace.
We all need it right now.