Sometimes, mothering feels competitive. And whoever is the most miserable wins.
Can we stop competing for the misery award?
Sometimes, it feels like whoever is working the hardest, sleeping the least, and spread the most thin wins some invisible prize.
Anyone else with me?
“Mine were up at 4am.”
“My baby is teething, and the toddler is having night terrors.”
“My husband is traveling for the whole week.”
“Mine is traveling for the whole month!”
Don’t get me wrong. I complain too. And at some point, we all need to vent with a trusted member of our inner circle.
But I’ve been thinking lately: what if we reframed our approach to parenting?
It’s not that every day has to be perfect, or that we can’t be real with close friends.
But what if we approached our mothering life, looking for the blessing and not the burden?
Parenting is a blessing, not a burden.
Yes, I know. The days are hard, and long.
Trust me, I get it.
(It’s so freaking tough.)
But I don’t remember my mom ever complaining or commiserating with friends about who had the most miserable parenting existence.
That’s not to say she didn’t complain or have bad days.
But 30 years ago, that kind of dialogue really didn’t have a place.
Today, moms are held to an impossible standard.
Be thin. Be fit. Be centered. Be stylish. Be engaged. Make crafts. Do all of the things.
Those are great goals.
But where is reality and diaper blowouts and tantrums in all of that?
Here’s the deal.
It’s too easy to complain on social media.
It’s too easy to break the ice with a new friend by griping about your kids or your husband.
It’s too easy to feel connected to other moms by complaining about your life.
But, please, let’s stop.
We’re better than that.
It’s true. Even a dream job has its bad days.
But on the whole, I’m betting your life is beautiful, and you are blessed.
No one gets a medal for suffering more.
There is no contest for who is the most miserable.
Do you ever feel this way? Leave your comments on the Facebook page!