Summertime means a lot more annoying kid TV, at least in my house. Here are some cocktails and drinking games for you to pair with your kids’ most annoying shows. (Obviously, this is supposed to be funny!)
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1. Paw Patrol
Every time you hear the name of that annoying dog, Chase, take a shot of vodka, and chase it with grapefruit juice. Congratulations, you’ve just ingested a Greyhound without dirtying any cups.
2. Sophia the First
Since amulet rhymes with “chug it” (not really but let’s pretend), grab a pitcher of rosé and take a swig every time they say it.
3. Calliou
Really, any alcohol is appropriate with this horrible show. The whining is beyond.
4. Bubble Guppies
Sip champagne and pretend you’re on a cruise ship or some other kid-free vacation. But instead, you’re listening to “Outside, outside, come on everybody outside! Line up, everybody, line up, line up…” Drink your bubbly as those stupid little fish line up and go outside. And wish your kids would.
5. My Little Pony
The worst girls’ show ever. Down a shot of strawberry wine every time they say something snarky or whiny. Warning: You may need a nap when the show is over.
6. Super Why
Pretend this show is really called Super Wine, and down a glass. Extra credit if use a sippy cup.
7. Mickey Mouse Club
Every time you hear “Mousekadoer,” “Oh Toodles!” or the annoying theme song, chug half a beer and pretend you’re Daisy Duck. Extra credit for quacking.
8. Octonauts
Whenever they say “Octonaunts to the launch pad,” pretend they’re saying “mojito to my mouth” and drink. Thanks, Skinnygirl.
9. Dora the Explorer
Every time you hear them talk about that stupid backpack, pretend you’re at a concert and just smuggled a backpack full of Belvedere into a VIP suite. You know what to do.
10. Daniel Tiger
Since they repeat the same song about 7 times each show, take a sip of red wine each time, in the hopes that you will not remember anything. Because, I can tell you, I still remember the “grownups come back” episode my kids watched 4 freaking years ago. #drinktoforget
11. Blaze and the Monster Machines
Pretend you’re the newest member of Axel City’s Fire Department, and take a shot of Fireball every time Blaze saves the day. Maybe after that you’ll be able to stomach another episode.
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