It’s a scientific fact that, for every kid you have, the number of times you’ll be woken up each night increases exponentially. Lately, I’ve been blown away by the level of ridiculousness that I’m dealing with. At 3am.
1. It’s too cold. Really, kid? Because it’s 89 degrees outside, and you have this awesome thing called a comforter. Here, let me tuck you in again, and better yet, let’s get you another fleece blanket. Because I like to cover my bases, and let’s be honest, it’s not my first rodeo.
2. Their blanket isn’t “flat.” Like, seriously, what does this even mean? Sure, let me make a big scene of fluffing the comforter to hopefully accomplish the proper air-to-body ratio for your sleeping pleasure. Whew, that was great. I’m so glad I’m doing this at 2:20am. Goodnight.
3. Darth Vader is under the bed. Sigh, as I creak out of my bed at 3:10am. I’m pretty sure the king of the Dark Side isn’t lurking underneath the trundle, but let me make a big effort of bending down onto the floor to check. Nope. Goodnight, kids. And, may the Force (and any hope for 2 hours sleep) be with me.
4. They pooped and you need to wipe them. Dealing with crap at any hour isn’t fun, but I speak from experience when I say it carries a new level of aversion when it interrupts REM. Sure, sweetie, I can barely see because I’m so tired, but let me wipe your butt. Oh wait, I missed. #fail
5. They need to change their leotard. Yes, sweet child, it’s totally okay that you’ve slapped my peaceful, sleeping face with a pair of tights and pink leotard at 2am. Really, I do think it’s important for you to sleep the second half of the night wearing your Elsa leotard instead of that boring Cinderella number that you fell asleep in. But please, do me a favor, and come back in an hour because I really think we’ll need another outfit change. (Okay, you know I’m a mom of 3 boys, but this one is from my best friend and it’s literally so great I had to include it.)
6. They need pancakes. I’m pretty sure breakfast at 3:30am isn’t necessary or appropriate, but just in case, I’ll walk you back to your bed and tuck you back in. #nope
7. They don’t feel good. Well, all joking aside, this is one I’m totally okay getting up for because I hate when any of my babies are sick. Every summer, it seems one of my kids gets croup, (I always assume it’s from going from intense heat outside to frigid air conditioning inside), and there is usually a night or 2 when I can’t sleep because I’m terrified that my kid will stop breathing in the middle of the night. Thankfully, I just found out about the Owlet Baby Monitor, and got a size 4 sock that fits my 13-month-old. Through the app on my iPhone, it basically monitors the baby’s heart rate and oxygen levels all night for me. It doesn’t replace a medical device, but it definitely replaces having my poor husband sleep with a sick kid so we know if breathing stops. Breathing monitor and marriage-saver, all in one. You’re welcome.
8. Their blanket fell off. I can’t figure out how to fix this one, as comforters are big and bulky and my kids can’t seem to put it back on the bed alone. Yes, child. Here I trudge.
9. They need a Band-Aid. I know, it happens to me too. My minor scratches also start gushing cinematic proportions of blood when I’m sleeping too. But wait, no, it’s just a bug bite from 3 days ago. Goodnight, kid. It’s not happening.
What is the most ridiculous reason your kid has woken you up? I can’t wait to LOL at what you share in the comments. Also, a huge thank you to Owlet Baby Care for sponsoring this post!