I hear this all the time. Especially from old men. Here are some good comebacks you should totally try. Or just laugh about with your friends.
1. “Have you seen my husband?” Responding with a rhetorical question is always a good move, especially if talking to a man. With any hope, it’ll shut him right up.
2. “Tequila shots and getting naked wasted.” Time to get brash and unapologetic. Hopefully, it’ll send the person running to get away from you and your 18 children. Oh wait, you only have 3 kids? Yes, your 3 kids. Because that’s totally enough to get random comments from strangers. #ohwaititsnot
3. “No I don’t. Can you please explain?” Then take a picture of their blank stare and post it on Facebook as they walk away.
4. “Whatever it is, I’m clearly good at it.” Never a bad time to give yourself a compliment.
5. “Sex, and it feels really good.” If they make you feel uncomfortable, there’s no shame in returning the favor.
6. “My husband is really hot.” Again, complimenting your kids’ incredible gene pool is totally appropriate.
7. “Who asks a question like that? Oh, I know, an ignorant person.” Depending on the day, a nice insult to a stranger can really take the edge off.
8. “Well, that’s a little inappropriate.” I’m totally used to shaming my children for talking about poop and butts, so why stop at strangers for offensive language?
9. “Yes I do, and I enjoyed every minute.” LOLing inside as you say this is totally okay, and in fact, I encourage it.
10. “Lots and lots of banging. All night long.” Again, go for awkwardness and send them on their lame way.
11. Fake laugh loudly and walk away. Going for sarcasm never disappoints in the entertainment department.
12. “I do know. Want me to show you?” The look of horror on their face could totally make your day.
What’s the craziest thing a stranger’s ever said to you and your kids? I can’t wait to LOL at your comments.