When the baby days are over

My dear oldest baby,

I know you are no longer a baby.

But as I watch you sleep next to me on the couch, I wish… oh, I so wish I could go back to those baby days. Because I don’t know where the time went.

You know this very well, because every day or so, I’ll ask you, “Can you please stop growing up?” as I cradle your huge, lanky little boy body in my arms.

Depending on your mood, you’ll say, “No Mom! I eat my veggies so I’ll be big and strong.” And I laugh and hold you close. We know it’s just our little joke.

But sometimes, every once in a while, there is a special moment when you decide to humor your Mom’s fragile heart.

“Okaaaay Mom. I’ll stay a baby forever. I’ll always be your baby.”

You usually say the words as you look up at me, your eyes smiling and your mouth closed and proud.

As if you know the magnitude of such a promise, even though we both know it can’t be true.

And then I feel a lump in my throat because, even though we both know we’re pretending, it just feels so sweet.

And so, as you snooze next to me this afternoon, while you dream of catching lizards and growing big and strong, I’m going to pretend you’re still a baby.

And for just a moment, I’ll lie to myself, and pretend I can stop Time and make you little again.

I know when you wake up, the moment will be lost.

But right now, oh my dear boy, you are my baby and no one else’s.