Do you hear that?
It is nothing.
Because where I am right now, there is silence.
Not a sound.
An absence of whining, tantruming or fighting over the green spoon.
A void of banging Matchbox cars, airplane sound effects and that crazy annoying walking toy that makes a deafening sound as they sprint over our tile floors with it.
What I’m experiencing right now, my friend, is pure bliss. Heaven.
After a wonderfully exhausting day, one night this week, I laid down in bed at 10pm and realized that for the entire day, I hadn’t been alone for a single minute since 7am. Not one second.
It’s not a complaint. It’s just the truth. For 15 hours, I’d been nursing, loving, teaching and disciplining. I’d been explaining where California is, what patience means, why dogs have ears and why babies sleep.
It wasn’t a bad day at all. In fact, it was a beautiful day, full of friends and fun and special baby memories. But that beautiful day left me downright exhausted.
So, in that moment, all I could do was lay there. And drink in the delicious silence.
The decadent, I-just-want-to-savor-it morsel of nothing.
A luxurious void of discussion.
An absence of any other being who needed to be fed or bathed or burped or taught.
I love doing all those things, but in those glorious 8 minutes before I passed out into the deepest sleep of my life, it was just me.
And I savored that silence.
In fact, I loved it so much that the next day, I had this super crazy, insane, out-of-the-box idea.
What if I could experience this aloneness during the day?
With 3 boys under 4 years old, including a 2-month-old, it was really kind of lunatic to even dream it. But dream it I did. And then I texted the sitter. And then she said she’d be there from 8:30am to 12:30pm.
Well, that was easy.
Friend, I can’t tell you the delight I felt in my soul when I woke up this morning. Knowing that dirty diapers, hungry babies, 2 loads of laundry and a sink full of dirty dishes would be someone else’s problem for 4 hours.
That for a $48 check made out to my babysitter, I could buy my own little version of Heaven.
I was ready at 8:18am, and when the sitter pulled up, I walked out to her car to hug her.
Thank you for being here. You don’t even know how awesome this is for me.
By 8:36am, I was on the road, driving through Starbucks for my favorite drink.
And now, I’m in the lobby of the nicest hotel in town.
Just me and the wifi (and you, of course!).
This is my little corner of Heaven. An invaluable little sliver of perfection.
For the next 3 hours, this is where I’ll be. If you happen to be in the neighborhood, I’d love to see you. But please, don’t stop by. If you call, I’ll most likely send you straight to voicemail. I love you, but right now, this time is for me.
Counting my Starbucks drink, this time cost me exactly $50.82, but its true value totally and completely supersedes any monetary explanation. Because the next 3 hours of solitude will be feeding my soul for at least the next month.
Or at least until next Friday, when I’ve already booked the babysitter again.
What do you do to get me time, even if it’s just locking the bathroom door when you pee? Share your favorite #momcation moment in the comments section below!