Don’t we all have a breast pump mishap story? Well, Kristen Hewitt’s is one of epic proportions. She’s an Emmy award-winning TV reporter and producer, who also writes an amazing, behind-the-scenes blog called mommy in SPORTS. Today, she’s sharing her bravely-candid, oh-so-relatable, and horribly-real breast pump misfortune with SheJustGlows.com.
You’ve heard of wardrobe malfunctions right? Well, I had a breast pump malfunction of epic proportions on March 2, 2012. I am a mom, who works several freelance jobs in the sports television world. My husband also works in sports, and was in Utah directing the broadcast for the Miami Heat. I had to drive to Jupiter, Florida that day to shoot some segments for Billy’s Bunch with my kid reporter (A.K.A. nephew) Stevie.
My day started at 5am when my 3-month-old starting crying. Sleep training in effect, I didn’t feed her until 6:30am. Then, my 3-year-old woke up, and well, things were hectic. I kept saying to myself, don’t forget to pack your pump, and then before you know it, time to hit the road to spring training.
I arrive in Jupiter just in time to tweak the lighting for sit-down interviews and then pump. Lucky for me, there was an open office, with a door (how awesome!) for privacy where I can pump in peace! No dirty bathroom stall for me. Woo hoo! I plug in my pump, grab my bottle and………….. PANIC! Where’s the pumping horn thing that squeezes the milk out??? I looked everywhere, and alas, no pumping possible.
I run to my friend the PR guy for the Marlins, Marty (thankfully, who has a toddler), and tell him my dilemma. After a good chuckle, he helps me locate (on my iPhone I haven’t learned how to use) a Toys “R” Us with baby stuff 5.1 miles away. I then ask the legendary South Florida sports reporter I work with, Frank Forte, to help.
Me: “Frank, you’re gonna laugh, but could you go to the store and buy me breast shields?”
Frank (laughter): “Are you serious?!”
Me: “Ok, how about you produce my shoot while I go”.
Frank: “Good idea.”
I then race to Toys “R” Us, stand in a super-long line, and purchase a breast shield 2 sizes too small, thinking: Wow, this is going to feel awesome. I hop in the car and fire up the pump while I’m driving. Good thing my windows aren’t tinted and the trucker beside me is enjoying the show. Yep, thanks for the honk and the wave, big fella. Enjoy!
I literally pumped 6 ounces in 5 or 6 minutes (that’s a lot, people!), and grab my pump and run back into the interview room because we are getting an all-star lineup today. Mark Buerhle, Carlos Zambrano, Lomo, Ozzie, Stanton and Heath Bell. Then BOOM, CRASH! You’ve got to be kidding me! Somehow, the battery pack drops out of my pump, and 8 batteries are rolling around on the ground outside the door of the Marlins clubhouse. I try to pick them up nonchalantly when Heath Bell, the Marlins’ pitcher, walks up.
Well, at least he has kids.
I get through the next hour, knocking out some spectacular television (if I do say so myself!). Great players, great talent, great content. Stevie, the kid reporter, does a really good job interviewing the newest Miami heavy hitters, then it’s time to hit the road and pump again. But alas, the pumping saga isn’t over. We get in the car and the battery pack isn’t powering the pump. Seriously? Stevie tries to fix it. (Yes, I subjected a 15-year-old to my breast pump.) And, he loses a battery. (insert: head shake, multiple times)
So I venture home, bursting again, repeating ‘this too shall pass,’ over and over and over again until finally… I feed the baby and start job #2 until bedtime.
Note to self: Buy extra breast pump accessories and batteries, and leave them in the mommy-mobile. That’s right. No matter what, I’ll always rock the minivan.
When Kristen isn’t reporting for Fox Sports Florida and the Miami Heat, she’s chronicling her misadventures on her blog, mommy in SPORTS. Be sure to follow this kick-butt chick on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram. Thanks to Kristen for sharing this guest post with us!
What’s your craziest breast pump story? Share it in the comments section below, and you might be anonymously included in a follow-up post.
Photos courtesy Kim Ruoff Photography