Social media can make us feel worse, not better, about ourselves because it’s so easy to compare to others and then feel less-than. Even when it comes to a stupid dwarf toy.

Dear Elf on the Shelf

Dear Elf on the Shelf,

Alright, I’m just gonna say what everyone’s thinking.

You are an annoying little dwarf.

I am so sick of you clogging my Facebook and Instagram feed with your stupid antics and annoying tricks.

Dear Elf on the Shelf  Dear Elf on the Shelf  Dear Elf on the Shelf

You’re on the potty one day. In the backyard the next. In the fireplace this morning.

I don’t want to know where you are next.

I want to stop seeing it.

I want to stop caring.

But I can’t.

You see, my mom friends keep sharing photos of your antics, and for some reason, I can’t control the urge to click on them. To see what stupid thing you’re doing today.

Yes, I think it’s great that you’re helping kids behave because they want you to provide a good report to Santa. Yes, it’s great motivation, and I totally get the point.

But, you just bug me.

And, to be honest, you are just one more thing for me, and other moms who don’t have you, to see and feel ‘less than.’

You’re like the back-to-school totes at my son’s preschool, which every other mom had decorated before the first day of school. Except this one.

You’re like the potty-training police, who ask me every time they see me if my toddler is done potty-training. No, he’s not.

You’re like the layer of fat on my upper arms, which reminds me that I don’t have the capacity to work out right now. Since I’m morning sick and newly-pregnant.

But, little annoying Elf, I need to come clean.

It’s not you.

It’s really me.

I have a small habit of comparing myself to others.

In truth, it used to be a big habit. A habit that made me feel less-than. Lonely. Pathetic. And some days, it even made me feel like a failure.

But I’m happy to say that I’ve started loving myself a lot more, and now the constant comparison to others is just a small habit.

But it’s still a habit, just the same.

And you, well… you just remind me of that little habit.

And I guess, sometimes, your stupid selfies cause me to relapse.

Because whenever I see your stupid antics, in bathroom toilets and fireplaces, it makes me think of all the cute things I could do with a little Elf in my house. The funny places I could put you, and the silly pictures that I could upload to my Facebook or Instagram.

But little annoying Elf, you’re not on my shelf.

And instead of feeling less-than whenever I see you, I’m making a decision, here and now.

When you poke your irritating little head in between my friends’ status updates and photos of their lunch, you will remind me of 1 thing.

That I am a great mom, just the way I am.

And I don’t need an Elf to prove it.

So with that, I will bid you a very Merry Christmas.

But please, do us all a favor and go back to the North Pole where you belong.


An Elf-less Mother

P.S. Not to rub it in, but I actually have a much more direct connection to Santa than you do. You may work in his workshop, but I sleep in his bed.

Elf-owning Mamas, please read this as a silly post where I poke fun at myself and my habit of comparing! Don’t take this as an insult to your Elf-shelfing ways because it is sincerely not meant to be!