Kids. They DO say the darndest things.
Some of my favorite musings from our 3-year-old, Sullivan, compiled from some of my recent tweets:
“Donuts are my day.”
“Mom, do airplanes poop? Do ghosts fart?”
Me to screaming toddler: “I just took away that privilege.”
Toddler (furious): “Where’d you put it, Mom?”
Me: “Well, I’m the mom so you need to do what I say.”
My toddler: “No, you’re not the mom.”
Me: “Don’t you want to be a good boy?”
Toddler: “No, I don’t.”
Our toddler: “My tummy hurts because I have a baby inside.”
(You try explaining morning sickness to a 3-year-old.)
Husband in bed with #stomachbug.
Toddler: “Daddy has a baby in his belly?”
“Mom, I just want some pieces and quiet.”
“It’d be nice if you shared that gingerbread house with your brother.”
Toddler: “Prolly not, Mom.”
“Mommy, you’re my *favorite* friend!” (Out of the blue.)
Toddler: “Mom, listen to me. I need to give you a direction.”
Toddler’s latest retort: “I’m tired of this, #Mom.” Complete with hands on hips.
Our toddler on the way into church:
“MOM! It’s God!”
(Pointing at the greeter in the parking lot.)
“Mom, why’s a palm tree in our house?”
(It’s our Christmas tree.)
Me: “Get your hand out of your pants!”
Toddler: “No, Mom. I’m diggin’ for treasure.”
Our #toddler (as an ambulance passed us, with sirens on and a 20-something driver):
“Mom, that’s a wild kid.”
Toddler (to our other toddler): “Don’t bite my mom! That’s my sister!”
As husband leaves on business trip, toddler chimes in: “Your plane is broken. It’s busted, Dad. You stay home with me.”
What are the funniest things your kids have said? Share them in the comments section below.